My review of Final Fantasy XIII. With help.Mark BohdanykMy review of Final Fantasy XIII. With help.
Well, after 5 years of longing and waiting, I have been chomping at the bit for the thirteenth installment of the Final Fantasy line.
I was devastated to watch this week’s Zero Punctuation, because HE STOLE MY THUNDER.
Go ahead, watch. I’ll wait. Really. Go on.
Ok. So here’s the deal. I’m at hour 32. I can’t do it. I cannot go on. Imagine the five hours he played in his review times more. I… don’t think I’ve ever disliked a game as much as this one. It’s not that it’s BAD per se, it’s just boring as freaking hell. And to boot, the Paradigm system is fun, but when you autofail the game when the lead character dies (no matter if the other two are still alive and kicking) and they introduce a bunch of monsters that can kill you in one attack… it becomes very much a chore.
The graphics are gorgeous. I hate/don’t care about all but maybe two characters, Snow (yes, he’s a surfer meathead but his heart seems to be in the right place) and Sazh (the afro-dude). Other than that, throw the lot of them off a cliff; ESPECIALLY Vanille. You have to understand; I’m *used* to characters like Vanille; it’s a stereotypical J-game character type; the peppy, happy go-getter. But OMGawd she’s just too over the top and as Yahtzee said; it’s like her responses aren’t even collated with what’s going on in the story at that point. Is it bad I want to see her writhing in pain on the ground, tears flowing from her eyes as I refuse that heal spell to her?
And this is probably my main complaint… the story has nothing to do with the rest of the game. I’m trying to skirt around spoilers, but let’s just say that one of the potential plot points involves one person potentially killing another on your team. THE PROBLEM IS HE’S THE HEALER ON YOUR TEAM. So, duh, there’s no way it’s going to happen. If it was, I dunno, HE’D JUST NOT HEAL YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED IT. and…story progression *now*. Oh wait, that’s not going to happen.
Other things like summons being there for a hell of a long time for story purposes, but then you just can’t use them like that really irk me. Not to mention that the summons are the most useless thing, EVER. They do little to no damage that you couldn’t do yourself.
Bonus points for scissoring women becoming a motorcycle. Crude, yes, but I didn’t come up with it!
Yes, that's exactly the look I gave the game, too.
Surprisingly, the thing Yahtzee DIDN’T mention in his review is that not only is it a linear tunnel you are constantly (and boringly) running down, it’s also the case that you are limited to two people in your party at any given point for most of the game. And you don’t even get to choose the two people. Seriously. I am currently on chapter 10 out of 11, and only just now can I have three people in my party. Too little, too late.
I don’t want to finish it. This was Square/Enix’s attempt at mixing up the gameplay. I think it’s fine to attempt to innovate, but this, in all honesty, should be considered a failed attempt. Time to fail forward, guys.
4/10 chocobos.
Man I wish I had time to go into this. I personally think you are being way harsh on the game, and I don’t 100% understand why.
I cannot agree with the 4 rating. Even with the things that can be annoying, it isn’t that low, imo.
‘course you still think Green Day Rock Band is a perfectly acceptable idea, so we obviously differ significantly on certain perspectives. $10 to export the songs unless you preorder it at GS?! FU very much Harmonix. Nice way to take lessons on being dumbasses.
Anyway back to the subject at hand, the game isn’t that bad. Everyone (except me) gushes over FFX but you were just as much on a fixed path as XIII. I am not a huge fan of class systems anyway, so the mostly fixed nature of the crystarium doesn’t bug me. I find Hope to be a very realistic character, his strength is magic after all not physical combat. Vanille, well I keep hoping she’ll pick an accent and stay with it, but even then she could just stop talking. and walking. and running. basically stop existing and be completely replaced by another character. Sazh is my fav cha, but I like the rest of the characters.
The combat is simple, but ti is ridiculously easy to die if one little thing goes wrong. I haven’t decided if this is a cheap way to make the game seem more hardcore or a motivator to an actual strategy puzzle. A little of both I think.
Anyway, do I think this is the best FF ever, no. Was it worth the wait . . . .I can’t really say yet. I love the world. I’m afraid I will never really learn enough about it. I am frustrated that they end loaded the game with ch 11 and post final boss stuff. That is annoying. It’s funny though, a lot of these structure flaws are the same as FFX’s and yet I was the only one complaining about it in the day, and now this seems much more tolerable in comparison and everyone is up in arms. Speaking of Arms, where is my new Wild ARMS Sony? Bastards.
Well, you asked me a while back why I was continuing to play it if I didn’t like it. You asked if I was doing it for journalistic integrity or something to that effect. The short answer: Yes. Plus, I was really hoping it would get better. I can’t say this is a definitive review. I didn’t finish it. I’ll let you have that honor.
I’m being harsh on the game, because in my opinion, it’s a rush-job that isn’t fun. At what point during the development process did they say “Man, having Vanille and Hope as a two-person team is the most fun we’ve ever had in a FF!”. Because that’s what they’re supposed to be doing with changes; figuring out new ways to make the game fun. And you can attest that it isn’t. In fact, you rallied with all these points about how X is no different; and I completely beg to differ. In X, each character WAS different, specifically because their race put them on different grid spheres. In this game, anyone can be exactly the same; it just costs more. Whoopdee friggin do. It actually removes any distinctiveness of the characters beyond cutscene actions. Not to mention, in X,( a game that came out HOW many years ago?) You could actually CHOOSE who you wanted in your party. And summons DID something; not just stood there, transformed and rolled out (and knowing is half the battle).
Regarding my score, 5 out of 10 would be an Average game. This sits slightly below it for me due to repetitive, unfun combat where you do nothing but mash X for the whole game (possibly switching paradigms for 10 seconds to heal, then switching back, mashing X the whole time then, too), lack of any choice whatsoever in both party makeup and what to do in the game, and super-slow and generic storytelling. Making me hate one of the main characters and creating such telltale predictability in the story is not a way to endear one to a game. Not to mention the inconsistencies I mentioned in my review… I do not hate this game, but I would advise others to pick it up in a bargain bin rather than pay full retail for it. MMOers may well love the grindiness; but as I age, I find that I’d rather stab knives into my eyesockets.
I’ll let you do the full review, and add my ‘A second opinion’ comment to it like you did here, not to undermine your review or anything of the sort, but simply to give people more information, just like you did here.
I like discussion 🙂
Quick addendum; I meant to say non-fun grindiness wants to make me stab knives into my eyesockets. Borderlands: Good grindy. STO: Good grindy. FF4-12, good grindy. FFXIII: Staby my eyesockets with sharp implements.
Also meant to say ‘Granted, it is a very polished and pretty rush job, but it feels to me like they had spent so long on getting the pretty down, that a lot of the game seems poorly planned out and executed. Especially the ‘detection system.’ Monsters can somehow see you even if they are completely turned around from you, each time, every time. Very annoying.’
Heh – I can tell I was tired when I wrote that. Like you said, I don’t think you should play the game if you don’t like it. That was a hard realization for me at some point. I would play/read/whatever anything I took regardless of if I liked it or not simply because I bought or received it. So I don’t mean to imply that you should play it, or that you should like it. I am also not as far as you so I can’t honestly make a fair comparison.
While I definitely am not a fan of the two person teams, and I really, REALLY dislike Vanille but I don’t think of it as rushed. I think the choices were conscious and intentional. Unfortunately it seems to have somewhat backfired. When a basic enemy can kill your party (leader) just for not having the right paradigm set up there *is* something wrong.
I’ll try to get the game finished someday, or possibly come to the same conclusion as you and admit I was wrong. Till then, I still want my “next gen” Wild ARMS.