How Your Nerdiness Has Screwed Up Your Love Life: And the Winners Are…

You know The Replacements song “Unsatisfied?” I thought about that jaunty ode to ennui several times while judging this week’s contest because so many of you seem to be extremely displeased with your love lives or lack thereof. I mean, the sadistic part of me was thrilled, because obviously this contest was a fishing expedition seeking to reel in true tales of heartbreak, missed opportunities and unrequited love. In that respect you guys did not disappoint. Unfortunately, now I’m totally bummed out and I think I’m going to spend the rest of the day listening to Joy Division’s Unknown Pleasures and being surly. While I go do that, here are your contest results.
Before we get to the honorable mentions and winners, I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time (and courage) to reveal these personal stories. Here’s hoping that you all find the happiness you deserve. Awww. Now with that schmaltz out of the way, let’s see what stories inspired enough laughter and pity in me to earn the two winners their TR shirts.

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