They Patrol Our Streets In Search For The Notorious Not-A-Game: It's Your Friendly Neighborhood Game Police
Some people act as if gaming as we know it is in danger, and all of these new experimental titles—Proteus, Dear Esther, Dys4ria, Twine games, amongst others—are to blame. Usually, it’s what people designate as ‘art games.’ Sometimes, if you’re in the middle of a “but is it a game” discussion, you can almost imagine a PSA: “….perhaps you or a loved one has come into contact with these questionable titles…”
It’s mostly because some titles don’t fit the mold; they’re not games that look or play at all like games that we’re accustomed to. A recent Twitter account has popped up that makes fun of just how ridiculous/pedantic/dramatic these conversations become, that you’d almost think that people are a part of the game police or something.
Well, now there’s an actual game police.
Think of the last game you played. How would you describe it? Do you ‘sort of just go around a bit’? If so, perhaps it wasn’t a game at all.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
It’s normal to feel embarrassed, perhaps even violated, when you realise what you have been playing isn’t a game. But please do report it.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
@igander We’re watching The Walking Dead very closely and are treating the number of ‘Game of the Year’ awards as a cause for concern.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
Keep in mind that anything you play may be used against you in a court of law.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
We have a long standing warrant out for Noby Noby Boy. Suspect is multicoloured and of wildly variable length.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
@etherstar You have a lot of questions. That’s understandable, because these non-game makers have thrust us into a terrifying world.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
@ragzouken Stay calm, lock your doors and keep a log of all activity.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
We’re receiving some scattered reports of something new on the streets called ‘Twine’.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
@thebuckaneer Do everything you can, but if it’s still not a game by the time you’re finished, we would request that you turn yourself in.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
In response to several requests, be advised that the inquiry into Dear Esther is ongoing.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
@thegamepolice Proteus is a gateway non-game. My friend tried it once and now he’s playing all these games with no rules/win states.
— Pat Ashe (@patrickashe) January 31, 2013
And then that conversation about Proteus developed, and…
@tedw4rd @patrickashe @amrox @avantgame Please drop me. Anything incriminating said in these conversations may be regarded as entrapment.
— The Game Police (@TheGamePolice) January 31, 2013
Maybe you, too, are a part of the game police task force. We’re livin’ in an Orwellian world, I tells ya.
Image credit: Shutterstock
