The 8 Most Terrifying Clowns of Nerd-Dom

Whoever thought that a pale-faced near-human with oversized hands and feet, a bulbous red nose, and the unnerving habit of laughing incessantly equated to good times and hearty guffaws is as depraved as their own creations. Clowns have been terrifying children with their pratfalls and overall horrific appearance since ancient Egypt, leaving their mark in the form of innumerable piss-soaked togas, robes and pantaloons — and a socially crippling case of adulthood coulrophobia — throughout recorded history. Even today, the clowns’ reign of terror continues on through the new millennium, even though action has been taken to curtail their stranglehold on mankind. For example, the small victory that was the successful lobbying of Congress to have Kaboom cereal pulled from supermarket shelves and discontinued. Nevertheless, there are some unscrupulous individuals in the entertainment industry — or more appropriately traitors to our species — that exploit coulrophobia for financial gain.

Characters such as Pennywise from Stephen King’s It and the doll from Poltergeist are some of the most renowned and feared clowns of mainstream popular culture, but that isn’t to say that more underground cultures, namely those of the nerdy variety, are safe from these gussied-up beings of pure nightmare. The circus must be in town, because the eight most terrifying clowns of nerd-dom are breaking into your house to do god knows what!

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