My Little Pony Progress Report: It's Been One Week

Gameloft released the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic game last Thursday. I started playing last Wednesday. One week later I am king of the ponies. It’s undisputed. Mostly undisputed. Level 40 is king, right?

I’d like to keep the comments for this post mature and civil, so let me preface this post by mentioning that posting anti-pony comments at the bottom of this article is an open admission of your secret love for all things small, colorful and equine. So there.

That having been said, I’ve been playing the My Little Pony game obsessively since the day before launch. Obsessively as in I wake up in the middle of the night and I’ve been tapping on the mini-games in my sleep obsessively.

Luckily that obsession hasn’t hit my wallet too badly. Thanks to an incredibly brief and possibly accidental sale on launch day and a few moments of weakness, I have purchased $18 worth of in-game currency. Now that I type it out it seems a bit extreme. Best not let the wife see this post.

What has my obsessive poking and payment bought me?

So far I’ve collected the following Equestrians:

The Mane Six:
• Twilight Sparkle: She comes with the game, so she doesn’t count.
• Pinkie Pie: You’d think she’d be better at mini-games.
• Applejack: Offensive to Southerners.
• Rarity: Not all that rare, really.

Ponies of Interest
• Zecora: Not technically a pony; not sure if zebra count.
• Braeburn: I cannot for the life of me place this guy. I should probably Google him.
• Spitfire: A member of the Wonderbolts. Does not make up for my Rainbow Dash being the last of the Mane Six to acquire.
• DJ Pon-3: The sunglasses-wearing DJ looks silly in 3D, with ~~his~~ her (fine!) blue Celldweller haircut.
• Hoity Toity: Hoity Toity would not be caught dead picking apples or playing bouncy ball.
• Flim: I feel as if I am missing something every time I see him.
• Mrs. Cup Cake: Cupcakes ruined this one for me forever.
• Mr. Carrot Cake: Regularly sleeps with Mrs. Cup Cake.
• Cheerlilee: I wish my teachers were so sweet. And had four legs. And didn’t exist in reality.
• Lyra Heartstrings: I have her toy hanging on my wall. Well, technically I have most of these ponies’ toys hanging on my wall.
• Big Macintosh: They didn’t do voice acting for Big Macintosh. Come on, people, how hard would it have been?
• Octavia: A fan-named background pony that needs a toy. I need a black-haired pony figure.

The Kids
• Bon Bon: A background character done good.
• Diamond Tiara: I hate this little jerk so much. I fail her mini-games on purpose.
• Snips: He’s plucky. You gotta love pluckiness.
• Scootaloo: I would like her more if a quest didn’t force me to speed her through the first three of five levels.
• Apple Bloom: You will never get your damn cutie mark if you keep sucking at mini-games.

That’s what, 21? And I’ve got another one coming with four hours left on the waiting time. Can’t remember her name. I’ll call her Kevin.

I’ve unlocked two of the six elements of Friendship so far: Generosity and Laughter. I have Kindness uncovered, with 94 of 100 elements needed to activate it. The rest lie hidden in Nightmare Moon’s shadow. I’m sure I’ll get around to fixing it.

How can I fail, with the help of the 56 players that have joined me on my quest as My Little Pony friends? My Gameloft Live ranking has gone from 4 to 20 since the game launched, experience points gained from adding so many pegasisters and bronies to my list. Hey, I know! Other people playing should add me, Bunnyspatial, to their friends list. That way we can build a better Ponyville together.