How do you attract a shark?

Chum the waters, my dear boy; chum the waters.

So I finally broke down and picked up

It's like Diablo. With guns. On crack.

for the PS3, as did TrialAccess. I already own it on the PC, but I really (honestly) can’t play it on the PC. I mean, I have forced myself to do so, but I can only do it for an hour at a time. You see, I get vertigo playing FPS games on the PC. Yes, yes, laugh all you like. However, playing them on the PS3, on the same 50″ HDTV, does not create that problem. I honestly believe I’ve narrowed it down to a reason consisting of two words: refresh rate. The PS3 is locked in at a constant refresh rate, and thus, I don’t have any problems. But put my pc feed on my TV and I have the problem after just a few minutes of playing.

Anyways, the game is crunchy and delicious. It IS a true hybrid First Person Shooter/ Role Playing Game. Every successful kill garners you experience, you have missions (even fetch items and boss battles) that net you more xp, and everything in the world practically drops ammo, guns, or grenade modifications. It’s a stat-lovers’ game. And by that, I mean you are constantly comparing stats like damage output, rate of fire, accuracy, etc. on every single gun.

The story is post-apocalyptic irreverence. You are an off-worlder on the planet Pandora, come to seek the fabled ‘Vault,’ which is supposed to be a warehouse of powerful alien artifacts. The game is great to play in single-player mode, and runs about 20-30 hours of gameplay if you do all the sidequests. The real beauty of the game is multiplayer, however. You can do split-screen local or online gameplay. This bumps the difficulty of the creatures up, and makes for a jolly good time.

Although you beat the game, it’s not over. The title has immense replayability, as it also features another RPG staple, New Game+. Once you beat the game, you can begin again, keeping all your stats and gear, with the new playthrough starting at your current level. The max level cap is level 50, and you get access to all the best guns and gear at that level.

About the only problem I have with the game is the interface of joining an online game on the PS3. Not that it’s hard or difficult to figure out; just that the game should give you the choice of switching characters once you’ve joined a game. As it stands now, if you forgot to choose your saved character before joining a session, welcome to level 1. You have to exit the game, reselect your character and hope you can find the game again if the people aren’t in your friends list.

I highly recommend this game to anyone looking for a good time.

Five out of five iced gingerbread cookies.

And on to our title. What does any of this have to do with sharks? The answer is my last day (yesterday).

I started it by watching ‘The Cage,’ which is the original unaired pilot for Star Trek: The Original Series that was later chopped up and made into ‘The Menagerie.’

Spock smiles four times in this. It's creepy.

Then I watched all the entire bonus disc on my three-disc blu ray set of Star Trek (2009)

Then I watched the movie itself in full dolby digital surround, shaking my house. Then I listened to the score, and went to sleep, only to get up today to a six-hour closed beta session of Star Trek Online.

Yes, my friends, I have chummed my own waters with the pure essence of Trek, and today shall be my own sharks attacking the Klingons. Sweet, delicious attacking.