5 Unsettling Things You Never Realized about Rankin-Bass Christmas Specials

The holiday season is synonymous with plenty of things: gingerbread houses, Christmas trees, and having arguments with the family that escalate into full-on brawls. Of them, the one thing that has always been a staple in modern holiday celebrations is the annual viewing of Rankin-Bass Christmas specials. For years, people of all ages have been entertained by their charm and whimsy, passing this tradition down to generation upon generation. But when we’re not being distracted by the unrelenting onslaught of festive cheer practically being crammed down our throats, it becomes clear in these specials that not everything is so holly jolly up at the North Pole or elsewhere at Christmas – lending itself to the possibility that everyone working at Rankin-Bass was out of their frigging minds!

From a bitter and callous Santa Claus, to teaching kids to fear anything that isn’t normal, Rankin-Bass holiday fare isn’t exactly as family-friendly as we once thought it was. Here are 5 unsettling things that rip the facade off the cuteness like so much holiday wrapping paper:

5. Children are greedy little pukes that run Santa ragged.

To the credit of Rankin-Bass, the specials managed to give plausible explanations as to why a flying fat man in red was so keen on giving random children he didn’t even know gifts — an act that, nowadays, typically ends with one going on a trip to the local police station for lengthy interrogation. But perhaps the greatest question that was finally given a straight answer pertained to Santa’s choosing December 25th as the ideal day for handing out free toys. As revealed by Santa Claus is Coming to Town and The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus, the big man was working 24/7 to meet the relentless demand of kids wanting presents on a daily basis. So essentially for a time, Santa was running a veritable sweatshop out in the North Pole, toiling away to please materialistic little nose-pickers.

Did the children even care that Santa worked till his hands bled or consider the implications such stressful work can have on his health? (He isn’t exactly Slim Goodbody, you know). No, of course not; they just wanted to know if they’d be getting that stupid wooden cat when they woke up in the morning. The sad part about all this was that Santa originally gave children toys to take their minds off their bleak existences, which ultimately backfired and ended up teaching them the definition of avarice instead. Best possible solution in this scenario? Steal Jesus’ thunder and declare that December 25th be the day ungrateful children are rewarded for doing nothing, leaving Santa to tend to his arthritis and gout for the other 364 days out of the year.

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Originally written and published by at Topless Robot. Click here to read the original story.
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