“Don’t eat the fucking candy.” Funny in the same way a Schwarzenegger quip is funny – because it’s lame with a wanna-be badass delivery. I can’t tell if this is going to be a genuinely bad mo...

What if Michael Bay and Paul W.S. Anderson had a baby together,? I don’t know what it would look or act like, but I’m pretty sure Hollywood hired it to direct this movie. Jesus, Van Helsing had a quiet dignity compa...

I’ve watched the trailer three times now, and I still have no idea. The problem is that I don’t know if the film knows how fucking dumb it is or not; if it has the slightest bit of self-awareness about its ludicrous...