Oh hai Lee Pace as Thranduil in The Hobbit, elven king and Legolas’ daddy. You’re looking pretty good, if you don’t mind me saying so. Get ready to have a shit-ton of erotic fan fic written about you by crazy-...

There’s Lord of the Rings LEGO you can buy, but that stuff is limited by the realities of commercial packaging and a hard ceiling for prices. Let’s imagine, though, that you could get hold of the perfect Lord of the...